On friday I met a friend. She went to live abroad few months ago; this was her first time visiting after moving and she asked me the usual, how I was, if I found another job, what my plans are and so.
We used to work together and we left that job at the same time, so she knew I was in searching of something "better"; I told her while I am finding that better I got a job in a clothes shop (to pay for my bills and to close the retail circle), that I also was planning to move abroad next year when I finish my studies, so she asked -where?, back to your country?
Well - nooo, not back to my country, I left it because of a series of good valid reasons which the most important one is the lack of jobs. I was thinking of a new continent I told her.
And she replied back; "you and I we are both gemini and therefore always looking for something better. But what is actually better?"
And I thought and thought and I don't know what is "better", but I know what is not good enough; it is not good enough to have a job as sales assistant with a group of people in their 18s, 19s and early 20s while I'm in my 30s and have two degrees and finishing a master. It is not good enough for me because it does not make me happy, full stop.
It is not enough for me because I don't earn even £1000 a month in a city full of theatres, cinemas, bookshops and expositions I can not pay to get in. It is not good enough when I get up every morning and I don't like my situation.
I am NOT a conformist, and that is a very expensive thing to be. What is better?
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